


The End of my World

by Fjeril



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Big Big Spoilers, Gen, Part2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 06:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7348189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fjeril/pseuds/Fjeril
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Re:vale's 5th birthday celebration is coming up, but Momo has lost his voice, and Yuki spends his days on the phone, looking for his former partner. Not noticing that, maybe, he's losing a second partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End of my World

**Author's Note:**

> I'll say it again, but this has spoilers in it.

_Say, why are you always looking so much ahead of me? I know... I know I'll never be him. I know I'll never be the partner you've been looking for during five years. But, didn't I try my best? Wasn't my work sufficient enough? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I always knew the day would come when I'd have to go. But still, knowing that it's so close... It hurts. I guess I'm being capricious, but... Any time I think about it, my mind becomes a mess and I end up crying. No wonder I can't sing anymore... I never could in the first place._

The words on the paper didn't seem to make any sense, but his feelings never made any sense. For five years, it had been like that, for five years he had hoped he'd be the person Yuki was looking for. He had done his best in that purpose, and it hadn't been enough. He didn't exactly know if he wanted to laugh or cry, and if he really wanted to let him read these words. He didn't know if they were the truth, but he did know that they were turning in his head, and he had to write them down. Yet, he didn't feel satisfied.

"What should I do..."

He looked at the door. On the other side, Yuki was still on the phone. He had been for the last three days, when they were not reahearsing. He had been looking for _him_ , and apparently, had gotten some information recently. Which, incidently, meant that Yuki had been searching even more actively for _him_. Thus, he got less and less time with Yuki, and more and more time with himself, thinking too much, about too many things. About how he wasn't meant to be there. About how his happiness, lately, wasn't his.

He didn't have the right to stay. But right now, he couldn't get away; he had just heard the sound of the other one's back laying on the door, and his heart squeezed. On the other hand, the window wasn't very high, but the street on the other side wasn't secure enough for him to go that way.

He couldn't think correctly. He couldn't see, either. His vision was blurred, and he couldn't manage to breathe. To think he had done all of this out of love and admiration, and that he felt like he hadn't gotten anything? He wasn't in the right to claim anything, though, was he? He wanted to escape. He needed to break free. But break free from what? From whom?

_If only I could stop thinking!_

All of his body hurt, and he could feel himself shivering. He was tired, but nothing seemed to want to stop. It felt like it was the end of the world, and all he could think about was that he hoped it was the end for him, too. Then, even his thoughts became blurry, until it turned completely dark.

_Please, let me never wake up._

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately, the world around him had decided otherwise, and he finally woke up, in the same sofa he had been sitting before everything happened.

"In my life, in this world, in the universe, there is only one partner to me."

The words had jumped to his mind without him even understanding. He'd rather not have them in mind, at that moment. Especially when he could hear Yuki still talking on the phone. He lowered his head, and approached the door of the lodge. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the conversation. He just wanted to hear his voice.

And that made him laugh.

He was the one who had insisted on Yuki not giving up music. He was the one who had chosen to stay for five years. He wasn't even a great singer in the first place, just a fan who loved the other singer's voice and wanted to hear him forever. And he had won that fight, oh so easily. Way too easily. That probably was why he didn't feel in his place...

"I hope you'll find him", he muttered, before detaching himself from the door.

So many things were going through his head at that mere second that he didn't know how to feel about anything. So, he placed himself in front of the mirror, and tried to cover the horrible bags under his eyes with his concealer. But he wasn't finished that the door opened, making him jump - soon, there was a line of concealer across his cheek.

"...Ah... Ah! Darling! Look what you made me do!"

_Ugh, no, don't look at it, don't look at me, please, if you look at me, I'll..._

Before he could find how he wanted to formulate it, Yuki's eyes were already planted in his. He swallowed, feeling way too tense, and started trembling when he felt the other man's hand on his cheeks, arranging his make-up.

"There. No problem," Yuki whispered, getting up and going to the other side of the room. "You look terrible," he added, looking for his jacket on the hanger, "bad news?  
\- Except that I still can't sing, no horrible thing happened in my life in the last three hours," Momo managed to answer, doing his best to get to his usual joyful tone, the one that could hide any and all of his real thoughts.

_But thanks for worrying_ now.

"Momo...  
\- It's okay, it's not like it was important, huh? I can lip-sync until he... I mean, my voice comes back," he tried to laugh it off, expecting Yuki to do the same.

It was a failure, though, and silence fell in the room, for what seemed an eternity before his long-haired partner finally spoke up.

"Don't take this too lightly. An artist who can't sing...  
\- Whatever," Momo cut, "I'm not an artist. I'm just a fanboy. A lucky one, though. Very lucky, until now, at least... So, I guess you found him, right?  
\- What is happening with you?"

The dark-haired man startled. He wasn't expecting that, in such a cold tone - it felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured on his head, and the uncomfortable feeling came back. He could feel himself start shaking, knowing that he wouldn't like what was going to happen.

"What's the matter? You had me tell you things I'd never say to anyone, I think I told you what you have to know, so what's the matter, now?"

He felt so weak , his body trembled harder than he thought was possible, but somehow, he found the strengh to reply. Now, Yuki had triggered the subject, and even though he had been sure he'd never be able to talk about it, the words came out by themselves.

"The matter? Don't tell me the words you borrowed from someone were the truth! Don't tell you were thinking about me when saying that! Not when you spend your days on the phone looking for him, not when it seems we haven't seen each other for a week because you spent your days calling people!"

He was panicking, and, terrified, started looking around for an escape, and walking around. He was so panicked he couldn't stay in place, and Yuki's look told him he was going to have a bad time - hearing him sigh didn't help feeling better.

"Momo..."

The said Momo could only swallow, while his parter run a hand over his own face.

"I'm sorry for spending so much time on the phone. I know you feel bad about all of this, but it is important to me.  
\- I know! Actually it's almost the only thing I know! That's the only thing you're talking about, lately, and the only thing you're doing! Of course this is important for you! It's so much more important than anything else that you've forgotten to take a shower this morning! Mister the perfect idol is so obsessed by his former singing partner that he even forgets about his life!  
\- Momo! Would you calm down?!  
\- Why should I, huh?! Tell me!"

Facing him, the grey-haired singer took a deep breath, and on his face, Momo could read all of his anger - and of his efforts to stay calm. And that vision of both pure beauty and horror, added to the coldness of his grey gaze, just froze the younger in place.

"Do not force me to do that."

Momo stepped back, ready to run away if he had to. So, when the taller started walking towards him, he told his body to leave the place. Unfortunately, his body didn't want to obey, and before he knew what was going on, Yuki's body was all over his. Like, all around. He could even feel his partner's breath against his neck, and the realisation of their position almost made him as uncomfortable as Yuki was feeling at that moment.

For a few minutes, he waited for Yuki to say something. But nothing came out of his mouth, and Momo started feeling awkward. Hesitantly, he hugged the other one back, hoping something would happen.

But nothing did.

"Yu-Yuki? Are you still a functionning human being, or are you dead because you just showed me a sign of affection and it was too much?"

It was probably way too much. Yuki didn't know how to tell his feelings, so showing them was usually out of the question.

"I don't know the right words for that. I'm bad with words. Can you just trust me a little longer? Until our five years anniversary concert. Just that. I'll show you.  
\- Are you going to spend your days on the phone again?  
\- Probably. But even that way, I need you to trust me."

Trust him, huh... Momo wasn't really sure about that. He decided to cling on his partner a little more, though he could feel the latter get tense. He had hit the awkward point, and there was no way Yuki was going away with it.

"M-Momo..  
\- Yeah I know, you want me to let you go.  
\- Glad you understood it, at least," the singer's soared voice remarked.  
"I like your voice when you're feeling uncomfortable. Especially when you're uncomfortable because of me.  
\- Momo, I can't take it anymore.  
\- Great."

He finally detached himself from the other man, and looked at him in the eyes.

"Let me make you feel a little more uncomfortable, then, darling: you're too cute when you're cheesy. If I have to trust you, then I hope I'll get more cheesy moments from you."

Momo's head felt completely empty, but he knew the thousands of thoughts that had taken his sanity earlier were just hiding somewhere, for the moment. Still, he wanted to believe what he had been told, and took a deep breath.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for being such a child, haha, I guess I never completely grew out of my fanboy phase."

The lack of change of expression on the singer's face put him ill-a-ease, and seeing him walk towards the door didn't help.

"You're quite a great fanboy, though. I hope TRIGGER and Idolish7 are jealous, they won't get one like that anytime soon."

The brunette looked at him in surprise, not understanding where he was going. The compliment made him happy, actually, but he wasn't sure Yuki could handle a second hug, even a lighter one - he wasn't completely okay, but the words helped. In the end, he decided that he didn't care if his partner collapsed, and glomped him with all the strenght he could find; resulting on both of them falling on the ground.

"I love you, Yuki!"

Under him, he could feel the taller one's body move, out of laughter.

"I know, I know, but I need to breathe, or you'll love a corpse - and that's not very legal."

 

* * *

He had been trying to sing for hours, now. Yuki was being very patient, but it wasn't enough. On his mind, Kujo's words took all the place, no matter how much he tried not to think about it. He was still terrified, and felt even worse knowing they'd have to use a recording of his voice during the concert. Even after all that had happened, he couldn't get out of his mind that he wasn't supposed to be a part of the _real_ re:vale, of the _perfect_ re:vale that Yuki had been looking for.

He tried to look less affected than he was, but it had become way harder than it used to be, especially now that the end was approaching. Now that his friend - no, his idol - knew what was going on in his heart. It was almost funny... He couldn't help shaking, even while saying all those things to Yuki. That it's be the last time they'd stand together on stage, that he wasn't the one who'd help him rise to Zero's level... It was so _ridiculous_.

And no matter how many times Yuki would tell him to stop that, then...

"Momo! Can I talk to you for a while?"

TRIGGER's Gaku had made his entrance. It wasn't the right time, huh? But at least, he'd stop bothering his partner, and that was a good thing - Yuki seemed irritated. So, once he had put his usual happiness mask, he asked:

"What is it?  
\- There something I'd like to give you."

Quite surprised, he accepted the offer, trying his best not to think about how much of a burden he was.

"To me? Thank you! ...I'm going, then."

He didn't really let Yuki speak. He didn't want to hear a word - whatever his partner would say would just add to the guilt he felt.

"You should go to our lodge before me. I'll meet you there," he told him, before quickly following his junior.

Entering TRIGGER's lodge, he could hear a lot of voices - and discovered that a lodge for three could actually get crowded. He noticed how there were only five of Idolish7: for some reason, neither Tamaki nor Riku were there, and apparently, Yamato was on the leave, too.

"Perfect, everyone is there," Tenn said. "Yamato, please go on, we'll explain him."

The leader of the younger band then left the room, but Gaku closed the door before Momo could see where he was going.

"Okay, I'm almost feeling trapped, right now. What is happening?"

He took a look around him, but the only answer he got came from Sougo, who showed him the free spot on the sofa.

"Please take a seat. And relax, the one being trapped is not you."

No given any choice, Momo the singer obeyed, still suspicious about what this reunion was all about - his juniors, though, were prompt to explain him everything, even considering how little time they had. So, as soon as he knew what it was all about, they waited for the signal; and soon enough, they could hear Yamato laugh in such an evil way Momo shivered. Part of the team thus rushed to Re:vale's lodge - where Yuki was trying to stop Idolish7's leader from stealing Momo's pet bottle and putting poison in it. Hearing his partner's angry voice squeezed Momo's heart, but the arrival of an impromptu element cut him from thinking about it: Riku had heard the loud voices, and rushed the door open, to ask them about what was happening. While he could see Tenn smile, Momo worried even more about what was going to happen. What if their plan didn't work? What if it was ruined? He didn't want that to be his last live day with Yuki. Thus, he approached the now closed door, hearing Yamato laugh maniacally.

"Don't fuck up with me!" he could hear Yuki's voice shout, with so much despair he hated himself for agreeing on this plan. "If Momo's voice disappears, I won't forgive you!"

Momo clenched his fists, swallowing, bit his lips, and looked around him. He wanted this to be over. He didn't want to hear Yuki's pain in his voice anymore, but Sougo and Ryuunosuke probably had understood what he had in mind, and were holding him tight for now, to prevent him from doing anything stupid.

"Not now," he heard Tenn murmur. "Just a little more."

Momo nodded, closing his eyes.

"It's because he was beside me during all those years that I could keep on making music!"

The dark haired singer's heart skipped a beat. _What did he just say?_

"To me, Momo is a better singer than Zero!"

It was as if a wave had hit him in the face. He couldn't think of anything else anymore.

"All of you..."

He didn't even realise he had opened the door, and was now watching his partner shout all of his despair, all of his feelings. That was such a rare, beautiful, and terrifying image that the only word Momo managed to say was:

"...Yuki..."

"I won't let you do what you wan... Huh?"

Both of them probably looked equally stupid at that second. Momo staring at Yuki in awe, mouth open, unable to speak a word, and Yuki looking back at him, in surprise, probably not understanding what was happening anymore.

"Yuki... What you just said... Is it true?"

Probably seeing how they would stay there, staring at each other, Gaku answered:

"Of course it is! Isn't it, Yuki?"

The twins didn't help and added to the embarrassement, but his partner seemed totally struck and didn't know what to answer. Yamato had to remind him that he was still holding him by his collar, ready to punch the young leader in the face, before Yuki finally moved.

"Yamato... But... You were giving poison to Momo, right...?"

As the revelations were made, Momo still felt too shocked to even understand what the others were saying, and detached his partner's hand from his junior's collar.

"Yuki... I'm so happy!"

* * *

_It's funny that you thought of me as ahead of you, while I was watching you from behind from the very beginning. You were my strength, my energy, my will to live. Without you, Re:vale wouldn't exist anymore. See, even him watched over you, with the same fondness. I just wanted to be sure he was alright, and happy. But never have I wanted you to leave. I'm sorry. I was so terrified of losing you, too, that I forgot the most important. Momo, I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I had to. I'm really sorry.


End file.
